Tuesday, June 26, 2012


These few days,
I found myself feeling depressed.

it's because of the TALK.
where it brings out probably just about everything that goes wrong with your life,
(and everyone else's life too)
and the way how you have been handling your life lately,
(and everyone else's life too)
the things you haven't achieved,
the things you should have achieved,
the things what other kids do and you don't,
the things what other kids wouldn't do but you did,
and all sort of things.
including marriage. of course. (duh!)

when you say nothing + you upset people = ur an ignorant bitch.
when you actually say something + you upset people = ur a very rude bitch.
great. i just love maths. =.='

I have been taking my responsibilities seriously and what did I get?
a little experience and a whole lot of depression.
and a bunch of craps and shits too.
like seriously.
my life itself has always been a chaos.
the ups and downs are going like nuts.
(which is usually more of the downward side than the upward side.)
*gosh my life! takes a sip of coffee and then c'nues..*
but still, people keep questioning the little things I do and say.
as if things weren't bad enough already that they had to make me feel even worst.
just because I don't turn out to be as what you expected to,
or just because I refuse to do as exactly as what you told me to,
so you choose to say mean things to me everyday and make me feel bad about myself?
so that I would come to my senses by that or what?
like that's gonna work. pfft.
so they say that I'm loud, impatient and short tempered.
and yup, never once that I deny the fact of it.
did I or did I not try my best to please everyone?
even with that much of flaws I had in me,
did I or did I not try to make an effort to keep everyone happy?
and YET,
all you see are my flaws and never any of my effort.
I grew up to be a woman that had so much anger in me.
having to deal with so much problems starting at a very young age,
and other people's problems too, which is ridiculous sometimes.
I guess it's just too much to deal with that makes me what I am now.
which is someone with anger management issues.
if I get to choose, you think I would choose to become this?
you think I would choose to be hated for this?
I am not blaming life for causing me to be who I am now,
nor am I blaming the genetics in my family for the reasons of who I am now,
but I guess a little appreciation and understanding would be nice.
but that is just too much to ask isn't it?
so you know what?
I think I've had enough.
I've done my part and I seriously think it's time for somebody else to do the part.
I had too much on my plate already and I don't mean food!
so I guess you guys can carry on without me.
its not like you would prefer me over someone else right?
cause there's always someone else better than me.
who can ever beat the worst?

while me..

I'm just gonna seat here and relax.
pretend like I know nothing, heard nothing, and definitely say nothing.
ignorant is bliss.
not that I'm proud of it but at least I've tried dealing with almost everything,
and nothing seems to turn out right,
so I guess it's time to embrace it.
so again,
ignorant is bliss.

p/s: I'm not setting up a great example for the younger ones did I?
ah, lantaklah. take care everyone!


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