Bury me alive

It's been a while.

waking up with a huge sigh becomes a habit.

something inside of me feels lost.

something inside of me had been missing.

how i actually lost it wasn't really the point.

since i've been living without it,

for quite some while already..

i woke up without knowing what to do.

i went out without knowing where to go.

i stayed still without knowing what i was waiting for.
i got tired of blaming myself,

for not knowing the reasons why i'm here, alive.
this is just ain't me.

living without clear needs and directions.

i've even stopped speaking 'human'ly ever since.

rambling has more become the language i chose to speak in.

i used to hate being in 'common'.
i used to swear at doing 'routines'.
i used to like it being 'different'.
but somehow now,
i just no longer care bout being just like the 'others'.
all i ever want now is to be 'normal'.
just like any other living human being.
spare me some of that fresh air guys. *breathing heavily*.

I need a new book to write on,

a new story to begin with,

and a new life to live in.

only if I could remember where did I last see it before it went missing.

"dear soul, please come home now. let's go more furious dis time. chicken."